Cultural Exchanges
by starfreak23
Summary: Sniper has seen the Medic as more than just a Dr Frankenstein figure and is eager to see more into his humanity. Medic is has made a friend and is eager to have human interaction as a normal human being. Will the two of them get on each other's nerves? Or will their "cultural exchanges" turn into something a little more than just a study in friendship? Part 2 of "Trial and Error"
1. Kiddie Pool

**A/N:** Well, you asked for it! I'm going to do my best to update this every week, I PROMISE It will get better as chapters go on. They're too impatient to get together in my head!

He'd decided to give the man a chance.

If he was being honest, the invitation was the beginning of a bit of an experiment. Medic and Engie weren't the only ones who could put together an experiment, he could too.

His hypothesis? If given the chance, then Medic will prove himself to be a decent (possibly even enjoyable) human being.

It had started with an argument with the Scout, who hadn't believed his relaying of the incident in the bar. Scout had asked soldier, but Jane had paid absolutely no attention to the goings on around him. All he could verify is that the Cubs had lost against the Giants (How a baseball team lost against a football team, no one knows.) But, Levi had become determined to prove to the scout, and anyone else that the doctor was actually a human being, so he had asked the man to meet with him and talk.

The knock came at around noon, the Aussie looking up from his novel and putting his coffee down to open the door.

Wolfgang Ludwig stood in the doorway with his arms crossed, scowling. He was sans his lab-coat with his vest and tie on, but there was a major wardrobe change. The man sighed and pointed at the bright red swim trunks the sniper had asked him to wear, matching black flip-flops he'd also provided. "Levi, I look schtupid and zhese... shorts look ridiculous. Vhat are vhe doing zhat requires them?" Came the groweld question as Levi took a moment to study him

The trunks were a bit tight on the German, hugging him in ways they didn't hug Levi, who blinked with raised brows and looked back at the annoyed eyes in front of him "Well one, I didn't think you'd actually do it. Two, climb in the cab and you'll see."

The Doctor puffed out a sigh and followed as Levi walked out of his camper, unlocking the cab and climbing into the front seat, Wolfgang following suit in the passenger side.

After a few minutes of driving Levi snorted and let his hand fly up to cover his mouth.

Wolfgang's eyes narrowed "What?" he asked flatly, knowing exactly where this was going.

"Mate-," Oh, how was he going to put this? "Oi'm sorry, mate, you honestly look like a twat." He was laughing good naturedly, his eyes shimmering with humor behind his sunglasses.

If Ludwig had the ear's of a feline, they would have pressed against his head, his mouth curdling a bit and his posture folding up smaller. "You told me to wear it!"

"I thought you would wear a t-shirt or something with it!"

Medic turned to stare at him, exasperated "I don't _own_ any t-shirts."

He laughed "I'd lend you mine, but-" Mundy paused a moment then continued. "Actually, yeah, you can borrow one 'a mine. Not like anyone's gonna see."

Ludwig scrubbed his face with his hand "Standing in my laboratory like zhis vas hell. I had to wear an apron."

"You could have brought them and changed 'ere." Levi said in a playful deadpan. He glanced over as he made a turn, parking next to a copse of three trees in seemingly the middle of the desert, casting shade over a small area

Wolfgang rose a brow, changing the subject with a half hearted sigh "I assume you have been here before?"

"Yeah, actually. Usually on weekends I pitch a hammock here and read." Levi rubbed the back of his neck in a stretch and climbed out of the cab, walking to the back door of the cabin.

"Vell, if you had plans, I vould not vant to keep you from zhem-"

"No worries, mate, I invited you. Oi'm glad of the company."

He dug a box from somewhere in his camper and grinned grabbing a bike pump and gesturing to a cooler just inside the door for Medic to carry under the copse of trees. Sniper sat in the sand with a shit eating grin "Guess what came in on our latest supply drop?"

Wolfgang sat on the cooler and rested his forearms on his knees to look at Levi through his glasses "Vhat are you so excited to-?"

The box was spun around and Levi grinned above the picturesque advert of a kiddie pool with three children smiling inside it. He ripped open the box and pulled out the deflated corpse of a swimming pool "Ta daaa!"

Doctor Ludwig stared at the man before him, who was excitedly plugging in the bike pump and standing to begin pumping the air with a child's grin. His heart warmed a bit at the excitement, but he gave the feeling no mind. "Levi?"

"Yeah?"

"How big is the pool?" Wolfgang asked cautiously. Mundy, in turn, kicked the box over the man who observed the pool to be a circular five foot pool with a fifteen inch depth. "How tall are you again?"

"Err…" The taller man took a moment to think, but he never stopped pumping the air, already having the pool halfway filled. "Around six foot three?"

"Levi this pool is only five-"

"Don' worry about it! Crack open a beer, it'll be ready in a bit." It seemed out of character for the Aussie to be so easily entertained, but there seemed to me many things they had left to learn about one another.

"Mundy, do we even have water?" Wolfgang commented light heartedly. He was far more confused by Levi's giddy determination than anything. The man had to know that his plan made no sense, how can two six foot plus men fit in a 5 foot pool meant for toddlers? And how were they gonna fill it with water in the middle of a desert?

Levi finished blowing up the pool and grinned "This is where the magic comes in," and he ran back to the camper, almost tripping over his own lankiness in his haste.

Wolfgang watched in amused confusion. " _I have never known him to be so excitable. I have been in regular contact vith the man for zhree years and I had no idea he could be so… is happy the vord?"_

Sniper made two trips and ended up bringing 4 ten-gallon gasoline canisters to the site of their miniature oasis and began filling up the pool. He let his hands settle onto his hips when the pool only filled a few inches rather than to the top. "Huh…." Wolfgang couldn't help from grinning ear to ear when he admitted "I didn't really think this one through…"

"No, Herr Mundy, I do not believe you did."

Levi stripped himself of his shirt, draping it on a low hanging branch, stepping out of his flip flops and stepping into the three inches of water, curling up in a ball smaller than he technically should have been able to. He seemed a bit dejected, but his face showed more blank thought than disappointment. "Sorry, I don't usually get caught up in childish things like this-"

But the German doctor stopped him with a sweeping gesture of his hand and slipped out of his flip flops to let his feet rest in the two or three inches of water, risen to about four or five with Levi now sitting in the pool. "Do not make excuses for yourself. You found happiness in something small, it's healzhy."

"It's not small if you grew up with me. I lived in a kiddie pool til I grew out of it."

Wolfgang grinned, leaning forwards with his beer bottle held between interlaced hands, his elbows on his knees. "I would think you would have swum in lakes from how you talk, or in the ocean itself."

The Aussie relaxed a bit with a bit of a laugh "No, I grew up more in the center of the country, I couldn't just skip over to an ocean and we have a bit of a problem with alligators and crocodiles." He had an amused glow behind his eyes.

"But you are Australian, ja? You can put them in their place." He mimed a fist fight.

Levi's face went to a deadpan and he went to gesture to his size on comparison to the 'Average Australian', when he caught the amused twinkle in Medic's eye as the older man winked "Hilarious, Doctor." he rolled his eyes, but he was smiling along with it.

"It is honestly nice to see you so excited."

"Whatcha mean?"

"Before recently ve did not socially interact often… but zhat does not mean I cannot observe. You can be very distant to zhe others. A loner of sorts. It is nice to see you excited to a near childish level." He took a swig of his beer and smiled at the sniper, a nervous twinge to it, as though he was unsure how his companion would react to his observation.

Levi smiled softly "I just got caught up in the memory, you know? I had a lot of fun in a kiddie pool when I was young and every once in a while, I forgot I shot up height wise. He let out a few huffs of honest laughter. "I sometimes I still feel like an ankle biter.

"You are the second youngest on the team. Technically you _are_ younger than most of us."

"How do you- medical files, right. Nah, 31 isn't so bad, I'm just far more tired than anyone else I know who's my age."

"Is zhat vhy you act far older than you are?"

"Yeah, that sounds about right." He let himself uncurl, his feet next to Wolfgang's, his torso propped up outside of the pool by his long arms. "That and the lad closest to my age might as well be twelve."

They both shared a quick laugh, honest and relaxed, before Levi decided to sink into a story. "We had a plastic one a' these back on the farm in 'straya. We would wash the dogs in it, at one time we ended up washing goats in it. In the summer- around Smissmas- my cousins would all come over and we'd splash round a bit, usually ending in about 6 munchkins piled on top of one another with very little water left."

"Smissmas is in zhe summer in Australia?" The doctor seemed very confused for a moment.

In return, the Australian seemed just as confused for a moment before realizing and pointing out "Southern Hemisphere"

The doctor gave a quick gasp of realization then nodded in understanding, with a gesture for him to continue. "and he asked, "Vas it a staple in your childhood besides Smissmas?"

Levi let his head tilt back and slowly smiled, losing himself in the memory once again. "Oh yeah, we had it out year-round. Probably a stupid idea, but some days you'd come out to find dad had stopped mowing the lawn and is laying in the pool fully clothed- I had my first kiss in a kiddie pool." When Wolfgang's eyebrows rose incredulously, he grinned. "Don't believe me?"

"Levi, looking at you in this moment I doubt it. Let alone during pubescence."

The sniper fell back with laughter, a hand smacked to his chest "I am HURT! I honestly happened!" He wiped his eyes. It was unbelievable to him that he and the German could get along so effortlessly.

It was unbelievable to the German that the Australian was comfortable enough to try. "Well, if it happened, tell me the story!"

"I was 11, she was 13, it started by accident." He repositioned himself so that he was sitting crisscrossed in the water, Wolfgang sifting to straighten his spine. "I was tall so I'd been able to convince her that I was her age so that we could hang after school. She fell on top of me when we were joking around. We fell into the water and she landed right between my legs. I was shocked, and actually in a bit of pain, but she was mischievous and pecked a kiss to my lips while I was vulnerable and ran home." He waved off the mocking 'Ooh' from the doctor. "I was hoping it would lead to more, but one of her friends ratted me out and she never spoke to me again."

Another laugh was shared before Wolfgang finished his beer and stood in the water to open the cooler for a second, grabbing another for himself and one for his companion. "I got my first kiss on a dare."

"Oh? What, your mates dared you to kiss some unsuspecting sheila for a laugh?"

Wolfgang looked up from popping the top from the bottle and said "Sheila?" slowly from the corner of his mouth. "I believe her name had been Michelle-"

"Oh! No mate, a sheila is a girl."

He nodded in understanding and decided to answer by continuing his story, "I vas already in university, everyone knew me as zthe quiet kid from zhe fancy swiss boarding school. She vas a senior, I vas a freshman, und she had bet her friends that she could kiss anyone and get away with it. She tried to seduce me, but I was studying and not paying her much mind. Zhen she randomly kissed me, and I kissed back. Sad zhat I had to break her heart."

Levi had begun laughing but interrupted himself "How did you break HER heart?"

"Vell, apparently how I kiss is… geil…. Er… sexual? Nien, zhats not zhe vord-"

"Sexy?"

"Ja. she vanted more but, I vas not interested. I vanted my degree und I ended up graduating early." He sipped from his bottle and relaxed, watching the gears rolling in Levi's mind.

"That's porkie."

"Pardon?" Wolfgang rose a brow

Another language barrier. He was going to have to watch his slang. "That's got to be a bloody lie."

The doctor grinned that evil grin that the rest of the team was scared of "Do you doubt me?"

Levi blanched and gulped in time for the radio to go off announcing thirty minutes til mission begins.

"Piss-!"

Both men decided to move simultaneously, Levi accidentally swiping Wolfgang's legs out from under him and ending with a doctor slamming into his chest, knocking them into the pool again. The doctor had enough presence of mind to roll and immediately pop back up, running for the van to acknowledge the call "Ja wohl!"

The Sniper was not as lucky, panting for a moment to get his oxygen back before he stood again. He'd been closer to the doctor in that moment than ever before. It took him a moment to evaluate how it felt to watch the man accidentally dive for him

He took a breath and drained the pool to put it away "Doc, you're soaked, put my shirt on."

"Danke" Wolfgang replied quietly and grabbed the shirt from the branch, walking to change behind the camper.

Neither of them noticed the light dusting of a blush, on themselves nor on the other.


	2. Bail

**A/N:** I'm so sorry this is late! The holidays were a bit crazy. I'm back though!

Also, I'm not trying to make a political comment with this chapter, my father is a police officer and I know that there are good and bad people in every profession, but this is set in the 70s and I'm from Miami which meant Cocaine Cowboys XD

The phone rang at three in the morning on a sunday night. Usually Levi Mundy would let it ring, but it had scared him in the middle of an oddly pleasant dream.

 _Hands finding his waist, positioning him to dance, laughing like bells when he fumbled a bit. The person in front of him was taller than he usually dreamt, and he aw nothing but a white collar as he blushed, embarrassed he was stepping on toes. This time the person opened their mouth to speak-_

 _BRRRRING! BRRRRRING!_

"Piss."

He fell out of the lofted bed of his camper and rolled to the table with a growl. Instead of standing to pick up the phone, he punched the leg of the table so the phone would fall off, hanging by the chord to where his ear was on the floor. This wasn't the first time he'd done this. "This 'ad bet'a be bloody good." His accent was thicker when he was tired.

"Levi Mundy?"

"This is he."

"Will you accept a phone call from the Teufort Police station?"

 _Double piss. Probably the kid again._

"If it's Jeremy tell him he' going to have to deal with being there til morning at LEAST." He growled, finally sitting up and grabbing the phone.

"No, sir, this is a… Doctor Wolfgang Ludwig?"

 _Triple piss._

He sighed and walked to brew himself some coffee "Yeah, put 'im on."

"Levi?"

"Doc, what did you get yourself into?"

"Mundy, I am so sorry I woke you so early… It seems I'm going to need a ride back home." He sighed and the Sniper could hear his head hit the wall with a sigh.

He didn't question the request for a moment, he simply began to pull his pants on. "Yeah, I'll be there in about an hour. Hang tight." His voice had softened, as if to calm the doctor down.

Forty miles away, Wolfgang sighed as he hung up the phone. He straightened, freezing in the cold holding cell after they had taken his coat from him. He was lead down the hall by a pudgy man that seemed to be the Engineer's size, but having taken far less care of himself as the years went on. He was snatched by the elbow and cuffed once again, dragged down the hall.

"So, a doc, a merc, and a fag." The cop insulted, throwing him in the holding area. It was a cage- like cell with two faded white concrete walls forming one corner, and two walls of rusting steel bars that spanned from floor to ceiling making up the other. In the "cell" were four other men three very dangerous looking men wearing leather and covered in tattoos, and one drunk soul who could barely stand as it was, but they all shuffled away from him when they heard the word fag mentioned

The German furrowed his brows and looked to the officer through the bars "Fag, sir?"

The fat cop turned to his companion, a younger officer who seemed to be more Scout's age, but the Doctor's size. He seemed uncomfortable with his superiors' insults , but he forced himself to stay silent. "You see? He's stupid too. Kraut faggot can't even understand what I'm calling him. His boyfriend was foreign too, but he was Australian. Didn't think an Australian faggot was possible. Must be some sort of inbred."

Wolfgang's eyes darkened at the older man, but softened when the younger man looked to him in apology and made a point of leading him away. The younger man had done nothing to wrong him, and would be spared Medic's wrath.

He sat on a bench attached to the concrete and bars of the back corner of the cell, thankful that the insult had done at least one thing right and had kept his cell mates far from him.

He was not very sensitive to insults, he found no fault in what the officer had insinuated about his sexuality, the term Kraut was not uncommon (even this long after the war), and he happened to be a mercenary by trade. There was no use feeling insulted.

But he had recently made a friend, and he was not going to let the man get away with even attempting to insult his newfound companion. This was an unforgivable act of unprovoked prejudice that the victim was unable to defend himself. He needed to-

He needed to calm himself down.

Medic rose a curious brow, mentally studying what might have caused the rise of emotion from within him "Odd." He muttered softly.

He crossed his legs to the lotus position, something people wouldn't usually expect a man of 49 to be able to accomplish, but he was more lithe than most people expected. HIs eyes fluttered closed so

He closed his eyes to continue an experiment in his head, passing the time in his own form of mind palace. He was flipping through "Grey's Anatomy" for a specific diagram when the sound of a baton sliding across metal clunked it's way over his head and the image snapped back to reality.

"Time to go, Doc, yer boyfriend's here." He stood and turned, his posture proud, his head balanced perfectly for intimidation, but stepping outside of the cell, the baton hit the back of one knee and he slammed to the floor.

 _Patellar contusion. Estimated recovery time: 1 month_

Medic stood a few moments later, wishing to God that he had free reign over more than just his 8 mercenaries, limping to keep from aggravating his knee further, a snarl on his face from the momentary pain of the fall. "Maybe we should do this to all the fags, ey kid? So we know them by their limping."

"Sir, that was a bit uncalled for, don't you think?"

"What was that?"

Wolfgang turned just in time to see the older cop pin the younger to a white brick wall by his lapels.

"Don't tell me what's necessary or unnecessary when you're so green you look like a cabbage. I've been working in this station since 1956. The year is 1970. Can you count? Or is that stupid little mouth of yours only good for complaining?"

"Fourteen years,sir." The younger officer growled.

"That's right. Don't think you can try to compete Mister Three-Months-Out-Of-The-Academy. I do what I like and I've got a badge that lets me."

Medic made eye contact with the younger officer and nodded once in solidarity. The kid slumped a bit in defeat and shoved the older man away to violently grab the prisoner by the arm, just hard enough to hide the whisper of "That's not what the police are supposed to do."

The older officer led them to the door of the lobby, pushing past the desk and the swinging gate, and made eye contact with the australian, holding the doctor's belongings which were comprised of a shovel, his coat, and a bottle of something. "You can handle the faggot reunion. I can't stomach that shit close up." Leaning on the wall to observe from a distance.

After a few paces of limping, the doctor offered "It may not be my place, I am not native to your country, but I think you're right. And, the only way you can change things is from the inside." The kid's eyes snapped up from the floor, hazel brown meeting ice blue. "Do not let them pressure you into hatred. I am from a place and time that is a clear example. Uphold justice and after all the battles, you will win the war."

The younger officer, Officer Gaiman from his nametag, was speechless for a moment before nodding and continuing onwards.

"Oi've got 'im from here, mate, thanks." Levi stepped forwards to gently grab the doctor's arm.

Wolfgang thanked Gaiman and smiled tiredly at Levi as he limped beside the taller man. "The older one is prejudiced, but he has potential. He just needs to stay focussed."

"What did he do to your leg, doc." The Aussie's voice was dangerous, but as they walked outside into the brisk cold of New Mexico in late November, his companion simply waved him off.

"Swung his baton too low and tripped me. I hit my knee. It is not bad, I am purposefully limping to keep from aggravating what will be a very deep bruise." He laughed a bit and climbed into the passenger seat of the camper's cab.

"What you said to that kid-"

"Zhink nozhing of it, Levi." Medic's voice was final but gentle. "He vas losing faith in his passion. We do not need another mercenary, don't you agree?"

Levi nodded in understanding before he started driving. "You know, I thought you were the kid."

"Scout? Nien, but he should have been vith me. Coward." He earned a smile for his pout.

"What did you get caught for."

"Eh, a bit of study in a graveyard-"

At the nearest stop light, Mundy turned his whole body to the Doctor. "You were grave robbing?"

"Nein! Eh- no, I vas merely comparing zhe rates of decomposition betveen zhose buried in zhe ground and zhose in a mausoleum. Jeremy ran zhe moment I pulled out a shovel und took zhe bread truck."

"So you were stranded?"

"Ja." He murmured flatly.

Levi yawned but he had to ask one more question. "Why did the older guy stay away once I got there?" He grinned cheekily "Cause I'm Australian?"

"Er, nein, he assumed because I had called you zhat vhe vere involved." There was going to be a laugh that followed, but he pressed forward, curious. "Zhe vord… fag? Faggot? Is zhis vhat one calls homosexuals in English?"

Levi's posture went rigid, his eyes bright with an angry fire causing the doctor to notice he did not have his usual shades on. "No, Wolfgang, that's a very derogatory term. I'm sorry you had to learn it that way."

The doctor moved his hand to rest it on Levi's knee in comfort, but hesitated and reached up to his shoulder instead "I vould not vorry about it my friend, I am not quick to insult. I can resist taunts on the battlefield, I can resist taunts off the battlefield."

"Well, I mean I guess you shouldn't really take offence." Mundy offered, using his left hand to rub the back of his neck.

"Vhy do you say zhat?"

"Well, you're straight, right? You married a woman, you're into girls."

There was a low chuckle that came from the doctor "Vhat is your opinion on homosexuality, Herr Mundy?"

"Me? I don't care what people do. I don't judge on superfluous shite."

"Vell, in zhat case, I vill be honest." Levi almost choked, expecting the doctor to call Clara his beard, but the expected answer never came. "I do not have a preference. I prefer neither men nor vomen."

"Oh, so you're asexual?"

Another low chuckle "No, I am very sexual, Levi. I just do not care vhether I am vith a man or a voman. Minus a few details, ve are all zhe same internally, ja? Vhy should I treat anyone different for vhat does or does not hang outside zheir body?"

A moment of silent thought, not awkward silence, passed between them.

"I think that's very well said, Docta."

"And vhat about yourself, Levi?" The Doctor seemed to be making just polite conversation, looking out the window and hugging his coat closer in the chill of the night. "I know you have an interest in vomen, anyzhing else?" There was a pause and a grin "Kangaroos perhaps?"

"Very funny, doc. Nah, I… I like it the same way you do. I'm a bit more choosy, but I guess that's because I prefer emotion over sex." He admitted, taking a glance at the man in his passenger seat.

"Part of wishes I was the same, but it makes my work easier without the romance."

"Aromantic then?"

This particular question caught the doctor off guard, and after a full minute of silence, he admitted "No... No, I don't believe so."

The softness in his voice caused a heavily pregnant silence, both of them having things that they could say, but didn't believe it was the time.

Finally Levi changed the subject "Why did you need the decomposition rates of the corpses?"

"Er…. curiosity, in all honesty. I had postulated zhe question a few months ago for research, but I've had to vait until I could do enough research to do a comparison of two people who died on the same day- thank God for Miss Pauling."

"Miss Pauling helps you with that?" He squaked, unable to believe that- nevermind he could completely believe that.

"Oh, of course, she is an excellent research partner. She contributes much and does not get in the way." He laughed friendly and looked to Levi as if the sniper knew what he meant.

It was one of the reasons that the Medic couldn't seem to connect with the others, not many of them were on his level and it weirded them out, but Levi wasn't going to get weirded out. He wasn't going to lie either, though. "Well, I wouldn't really be able to compare notes there, but I'll take you word for it." He made eye contact with a friendly smile to show the man he was honestly interested in keeping up the conversation. "Snipers tend to work alone. There might be a spy who got the information, but it's all very anonymous."

"It must get lonely sitting in those nests"

"Yeah, I mean… it can be peaceful too. Especially when Hoots comes with me." He admitted, speeding up for the last leg of their journey.

"Hoots?" Wolfgang asked, cocking his head curiously.

"Oh, there's an Owl that lives in the barn near base and he seems to be fond of me. Sleeps in the camper sometimes." He barked out a laugh "Loud though, so I started calling him Sir Hootsalot. Hoots for short."

"Oh, I keep doves!" The German connected happily, earning a grin from the driver.

"Who could forget about Archimedes?" He admitted as he parked closer to the base than he usually might. "Would you like me to walk you in?"

"Levi, you have done more zhan enough for me tonight. I will make an excuse for you at breakfast." He reached over and squeezed the man's hand with a smile "Sleep in, Doctor's orders." With that, Wolfgang slipped out of the car and ran to the base to try and avoid the majority of the cold, Levi watching him with a smile and a blush that warmed him until he crawled back into bed.

He closed his eyes to return to that dream of the dance. He woke in time for breakfast, unable to stay away. He had to compare the shade of the doctor's eyes to the ones who had lulled him to sleep.


	3. Snow

**A/N:** I am so sorry this took so long! The semester started and hit me hard- actually I haven't written a thing since Christmas, my life has been so crazy. BUT, in the midst of a genetics lecture, I typed my heart away to bring you this. I am even positing on a Tuesday to show you all how much I care that you are ACTUALLY READING THIS SO THANK YOU! Updates will be slow, but I DO have a few chapters planned in advance, so it won't be as difficult as it could be.

December came as a busy time for Team Fortress, mission after mission giving the nine mercenaries very little time for themselves. Spy walked into the common kitchen with his coffee every day complaining that they had to "schedule time to breathe, or else would not be able to."

The weather seemed colder and colder, missions moving to maps like SnowyCoast, Snowplow, and Coldfront.

There were mixed opinions of snow among the team such as apathy in the case of Demo, Heavy, and Scout. The three grew up in colder climates, uncaring of the winter and functioning day to day in winter and spring the same.

Then there were those who had a mild appreciation of the cold, like Soldier and Engie. They loved the weather, but on a limited basis.

Medic and Spy adored a decent European winter, the winter in New Mexico far milder and enjoyable without too much of a hassle as they might have to go through in their home lands. They enjoyed the thought of snowy holidays, and drinking a hot beverage overlooking a powdery landscape.

There were, however, two people on the team that seemed to loathe the cold with a burning passion. Pyro did for obvious reasons, or so the team assumed he hated snow since he kept mostly silent about it unless it as falling. But, he could live with it since fire would make the snow disappear. His suit kept him warm and his flames would clear a path for him to walk if he needed, so he barely complained. (Pyro vision was also an added perk, but very few actually knew about it.)

Sniper refused to leave his van for anything except work when there was snow on the ground. He avoided it at all costs, speaking to no one until they came to him in the warmth of his van, which no one typically chose to do.

Typically.

Wolfgang had pulled on his pants with a grin that morning, tucking his shirt and vest in before adding a sweater and sitting to pull his boots on. Archimedes fluttered from his perch to land on one of the tall bed posts and cooed.

"Ja, Kleiner, draußen schneit es." He murmured, reaching over to gently smooth the dove's feathers with a warm chuckle. The dove cooed curiously in response and earned a laugh "Wen ich treffe, geht dich nichts an!"

There was another coo which caused the German to scoff, he took a breath to speak again- now standing on both boots- when he was interrupted by "Ya know, if ya didn't want us hearing you talk to the pigeons, you should close the door."

He tried to grab something to throw, but there was nothing in arms reach, so he faked it and Scout ducked all the same, running out of the room shouting about how "Medic threw a scalpel at me!"

"Ach, Swinehund."

Wolfgang had grabbed his scarf and closed the door only to jump when he heard spy "Where are you going on such a day, hm?"

Medic spun around with a gasp only to smack the offending Frenchman across the face with his scarf- which was, of course, barely effective. "Arschgeige," He sighed and pushed down the smile that played on his lips when Kylain Dubois slathered on his shit eating grin. "I am supposed to meet Herr Sniper to discuss the pros and cons of holidays."

Kylain walked him to the door and rose a brow "Intelligent conversation with our resident Sniper? I wouldn't dream you would stoop so low."

Wolfgang rolled his eyes "Vell, you've kept yourself busy, miene freund. Sniper seems to be zhe only other person who has zhe mind to converse besides zhe Engineer, but zhe Engineer isn't exactly comfortable vith me."

"Oui, he seems to react just like the others." He slipped his sleeve up to glance at his watch. "Mundy was on that list until two months ago or so ago. What happened?"

"I have no clue, he made zhe offer to have drinks a few veeks ago and ve have met almost regularly simply to talk." He let himself smile a bit and run a hand through his hair before covering his face with the scarf.

"It is not THAT cold, mon ami"

"Ja, but my nose freezes easily." He slipped out the door as Kylain shot an amused look out with him.

Walking through the crunching snow to the Sniper's burrow was one thing, but getting his attention seemed to be another. Tapping on the door heard a thud, but no answer. Knocking produced a low groan. Calling his name is what finally produced a head, from out of a tiny gap in the door.

Levi had obviously planned to sleep in this sunday morning, his glasses off, hat missing, hair skewed every which way. Wolfgang could tell the man had put himself together to come retrieve him from the police station a few weeks prior, this was not the same man. "Wot."

"Guten Morgen!" Wolfgang pronounced with a smile behind his scarf, the glint of his glasses making the Sniper squint at him "Vhen are ve leaving for today's discussion, miene freund?"

"Wot? Leaving where, mate?" Levi actually seemed angry, though his voice was just confused.

Wolfgang's heart fell a little "Ve vhere supposed to talk today, ja? Like vhen you took me to zhe pool?"

Sniper violently rubbed his left eye and barked a single laugh "I would, mate, but as you can see the apocalypse has begun, so I'm hibernating." And with that, the man was rude enough, in his bleary state, to close the door.

Levi spun on socks his mother knit for him as an early Smissmas gift and climbed back to bed with a mumble of "Save me from the godless-ness of winter," to no one in particular and flopped up onto his mattress once again.

Medic stood in what little snow had fallen as the Aussie slammed the door in his face. For a moment, he had to remind himself that the Aussie was supposed to be a "special case." He paused and smirked "Nein" waiting until he heard the Sniper begin to snore from inside.

"Perfekt."

He climbed into the driver's seat of the van and took off his coat and scarf before he started the engine, (" _Why did he leave his keys in the ignition?")_ turned on the heater, and started to drive. He would not risk the radio, he would not risk taking a more direct but turbulent route. He would end up driving for an hour and a half before he found a place he seemed to find suitable, and parking, humming to himself as he waited the waking of his warm weather friend.

This was nothing like Germany or Switzerland. This was a thin blanket of snow that would disappear in a day or so. This was not a mountain of ice that could probably freeze a man to death if he slipped into it. This was a pleasant jaunt to what he was used to, what he'd fallen in love with in his youth.

Inside, the Sniper went on with his life as usual upon awakening. He stretched and scratched his ass as he made his morning coffee, he didn't make a sound until the satisfied sigh of contentedness the first sip caused. In a far better mood than before, turning up his small space heater up a few more notches to keep the cold at bay, and wrapping a blanket around his shoulders.

After about ten minutes he sighed "Ye should probably apologize, Mundy. The man's been awful sweet on you," he mumbled as he pulled on a shirt, he stepped into his shoes and opened the door-

This was not R.E.D base.

This was a frozen wasteland.

He'd finally been sentenced to hell.

"P-" A snowball hit him in the face before he could get the word out, or rather, the fragments of what HAD been a snowball before it disintegrated about a foot from his face

"Scheiße..." Came a whisper from the Doctor standing in front of him, glaring down at the snow as if it had betrayed him on a personal level. He looked up after a few moments "Surprise?"

The Aussie growled and grabbed the Doctor by his lapels "Where the bloody hell are we?" He was more exaspirated then angry, and Wolfgang was not even frightened, pushing away from him with a puff of air to trill his lips

"I drove you an hour north, so you could really see zhe snow!" He started off his sentence as if it as dull but finished it as if it was the most exciting thing he could have done, his eyes glittering behind his glasses with excitement.

"You… you hijacked my van-"

"Vell, I can barely call it hijacking if you left zhe keys in zhe ignition-"

"-And you drove me into the middle of hell-"

"Zhat is in zhe eye of zhe beholder-"

"-Because you wanted me to experience snow?"

The two stared at each other for what felt like a very long time before Medic looked at him and almost squeaked "Ja?"

Levi stared at the German a moment, then began to laugh. He cackled until he had to lean against the door to his van for support "Why?"

It was clear the emotion in the situation was making the Doctor a bit uncomfortable as he fidgeted, watching the taller man giggle and clenching his jaw "I love zhe snow. I vas hoping zhat I vould be able to share zhat vith you, since you shared your love of plastic svimming pools vith me."

So, it was a pay back. A trade off.

"Lil' cultural exchange, eh?" He finally calmed and folded his arms over his chest with a cheeky grin, knowing his sudden acceptance of the situation was making the Doctor (who was not used to being forgiven so easily) a bit uncomfortable.

"Ja. A- learning opportunity."

"Yeah, a'right. Then teach." His grin widened and gestured with a hand as if to say, "Go on."

Wolfgang took a breath to speak, then smirked himself, holding his arms wide as if asking for a hug or presenting something large- then let himself fall backwards into the inch or two of snow at his feet.

Levi startled, jumping up from his relaxed position and dashing over "Doc?"

The Doctor was fine, opening his closing his legs at the same time he rose and lowered his arms, looking like an absolute idiot. After three or four rounds of this…. writhing, he held up a hand for Levi to tug at and help him up.

"What the-" Levi interrupted himself with an "Ooooh" as he looked down at the shape that Medic had made with his wiggling. "I take it thats a snow angel?"

"Wunderbar, you aren't a complete idiot." This time it was Wolfgang's turn to smirk and Sniper's mouth flapped like a fish out of water before he was shoved into the snow. "Now you try!"

"Oi! Bloody 'ell that's cold!" He cried out as he fell into the snow, slamming a little hard since the ground was not buried deep. He didn't chicken out though, he did exactly what he'd seen before. He clambered up to look at what he had made and compare it to the original. The skirt was a bit too wide and the wings were different sizes, but he still gestured to hit proudly as his teeth began to clack together. "Tada!"

Medic cackled "Oh, my friend, you are shivering! Let me grab you a sveater," He offered as he rushed into the van to dig through the man's miniscule closet to find his companion a sweater. When he walked back out with a thick parka, a rain of snow found into way into his scarf and he howled with the sudden cold on his warm skin.

"HAH! Sorry there, nurse!" Levi guffawed, still shivering but having the sense to start running the moment that Wolfgang's vision zeroed in on him.

The parka fell to the floor and the Doctor shot himself after the long-legged Sniper, bending over to scoop up the snow in his gloved hand and not bothering to pack it tight as he flung it wildly at the laughing man. "ZHAT VAS COLD!"

Without warning, Levi spun on his heel and braced himself, being slammed into by the Doctor who was not quick enough to react. They both huffed when they hit each other and again when they hit the ground. "Aren't you supposed to be used to this, Doc? I'm the one who should be able to complain."

This time, neither of them had the motivation to force themselves out of shock, Medic frozen on top of Sniper with wide eyes, watching the Aussie shiver and grin cheekily at catching the man so off guard. It took a few moments of growing heat at the back of Wolfgang's neck before he scooped up a handful of snow and shoved it in the man's face as he rolled off him.

"Oi! Bugga that's some shonkey business right there!" He complained but let the German get up and retrieve the Parka from the floor, looking over at the Sniper who was frozen in the snow with a wide-eyed wonder in his eyes.

"Vhat is it?"

Levi looked up like a curious child "Walk towards me again?"

Slowly, Medic acquiesced.

"It makes a crunching noise… like sand"

Medic handed him the parka and smiled "Ja, it is made of ice, crystalline like sand is. Zhink of snow as... vater sand."

"I always forget that it's supposed to be hard, it always looked so soft on telly" He tugged on the outer layer, not caring that his shirt was basically soaked. If he got sick, oh well.

"I zhought it did snow in Australia zhough? Have you never seen snow before you came to zhis country?"

"My dad never cared for it much, so we always stayed home in the summer rather than travelling like everyone else" He shrugged, packing snow together and watching it fall apart "Why won't it stick together like in the movies?"

Wolfgang leaned over and took his hands to warm them, wetting the snow and allowing it to pack easier "It only packs vhen it is vet, you need more body heat because zhis is very dry snow."

When Levi managed to pack it together he grinned and looked over at Wolfgang proudly "Like that?"

"Ja, you have done it." He smiled in return " _He smiles, and I feel warmer than I have ever been. He is quite a sight-"_

His thought process was interrupted by a snowball to the face "Hah! 'Straya: 2, Germany:0!"

The German grabbed a fist full of snow "Für das Vaterland!"

"OH, PISS!"

German Translation:

Yes, little one, outside it snows.  
Ja, Kleiner, draußen schneit es.

Who I meet is none of your business!  
Wen ich treffe, geht dich nichts an!

Swinehund  
Pig Dog

Arschgeige  
Ass violin, or a fond way of calling someone an asshole


	4. Roswell

**A/N:** And this is the image that started it all. Fitting that it's the longest chapter as of yet and how it came so easily. Lets all hope I keep that jazz! I looked bloody bonkers to my roommate doing research on Aliens, but I hope you all enjoy!

January was just as cold for the mercs, if not colder, and the Administrator barely let up on them for the holidays, let alone afterwards. Finding out they had weekend leave around the end of the month was just enough to help them get there.

Heavy had started to bring whatever book he was reading into the spawn room so that he would have the chance to read a few words between re-spawning and going back out into battle. Scout was all but living off of his Bonk, starting to get twitchy and snappish when he hadn't had it, like he was growing addicted to the stuff. Their only breaks were their nights to sleep, which they had started substituting with their hobbies to get some mental health time in.

Sleep deprived and exhausted, the mercs had all planned to sleep through their weekend leave, but for some reason that didn't feel quite right to him. It was still cold out, but there hadn't been snow since around the 8th and he'd been talking with the engineer.

"Yeah, I won't be usin' 'em til the weather warms up a bit more. I did add a seat heating element to 'em, but I'd still rather not freeze my britches off." Engie handed him to two tool boxes he'd asked to borrow, surprised that they were far heavier than he imagined. "You know, one's big enough for two a ya, Slim, and cuddlin' does help keep in body heat." He winked.

Levi set the tool boxes down to crack his knuckles "Nah, Truckie, ain't got a Sheila if that's what your suggestin. Jus' me an' the Doc gonna talk with a couple a' drinks."

"At night."

Levi stared down at the man "... Yeah…"

"In front of a roarin' fire." Engie was slowly starting to grin.

"Yeah…"

"Under the stars?"

"Engie-" The tone was a warning tone beginning its wind up.

"Probably cuddled up together under one blanket-"

"Engie!" He launched forwards to swipe a paw at the Engineer's head, Dell ducking and cackling as Levi missed.

"Listen, Slim, your business is your business. Who you cuddle with under a blanket is fine by me, all I'm askin' is you clean up the chairs 'fore you give 'em back!" He laughed as he dodged again, letting the taller man take another swipe. "No, but in all seriousness, just have fun and don't break 'em. "

"Wouldn't you be able to fix it if I did?" Levi asked as he picked them up again, missing the insinuation entirely.

"Yeah, but that don't mean I wanna have to."

"Fair point."

"And the subject's abilities?" Kylain asked, taking a deep drag from his cigarette and handing it to the Doctor with a slight laugh.

The Doctor took the cig and copied the movement "Almost superhuman! Ask any of zhe nurses he bedded vithin zhe veek and zhey'll tell you."

Both men giggled like school boys over the operating table, exchanging stories from their beginnings as a spy and a doctor. Kylain had walked into the surgical theatre while Wolfgang was recording some results as he looked into a microscope at a petri dish, but what had begun as waiting for reaction had become a much-needed distraction and a very enjoyable laugh with the only merc that had truely become an old friend as they had worked together.

He and Heavy had very nice conversations as well, but he and Kylain truly tended to lose themselves with one another, which was fantastic for both of them, especially since neither were very trusted by the rest of the team.

"Monsieur Dubois, you cannot tell me zhat you can top zhat! I zhink I vould die if you could!" Medic admitted between giggles, taking off his glasses to wipe the tears that had welled in his eyes.

"Well, there was one time that might interest you." Spy began "Mind you, I was in a boarding school in Paris, one can only assume the depravities this place had seen once the nuns had fallen to sleep at night-"

There was a knock on the door and both men turned to see the Sniper peering into the theatre through one of the round windows on the swinging doors. Medic, ever the gentleman, scurried over to swing it open. "Ja?"

"Er… if your busy, I could come back later?" He started to backup, but Kylain waved him off.

"Non, if the good Doctor is needed, I can leave."

"Uh, naw, that's a'right. I was jus' wonderin' if the Doc and I were on for our talk? The usual?" For some reason, asking in front of Spy seemed wrong, making him a bit shy about it. _"Bloody Spook, makin' two blokes drinkin' seem weird-"_

The Doctor stared at him a moment to translate what he had said before snapping back to reality "Oh, ja! I have looked forwards to it. Any particular topic?"

"None comes to mind. Just bring some o' that stuff you wanted me to try. Oh, and let's do it after sundown, I had an idea."

"Erm, okay." Wolfgang responded, questioningly, but casually. They nodded to each other in understanding and the Sniper left, leaving Medic to walk back to his conversation.

"The usual? Isn't that behavior frowned upon in your profession?" Kylain teased.

"Pah," He waved a hand "Drinking is a German tradition." He too missed the insinuation completely. "Finish the story!"

"Ah, yes. Well, this is what happens when six teenage boys in France get ahold of duct tape, macaroons, three bottles of very old scotch, and a drawer of women's underwear-"

Medic had seen the setup before he had gone outside, thinking beforehand to bring the bottle he'd been told to include, two heavy blankets, and a small box from inside his food fridge. He headed out of the base, hauling these objects and looking to be much smaller than he actually was.

Mundy had lit the fire the moment the sun had gone down, meeting Ludwig to help carry the blankets.

"May I ask vhy you decided to move vhe time to night instead of day? I zhought you loathe zhe cold"

"I do. But, you like it and I thought you'd appreciate a crisp desert star-scape." And with that, he pointed upwards.

Wolfgang glanced up and gasped at sight of an entire milky way of stars blinking down at him. "Oh…" came as a small squeak in what suddenly felt like a vast universe to the Doctor. "Es ist wie Glitzer am Himmel…"

Levi had to lead Wolfgang to the chairs, the slightly smaller man stumbling over his own boots in awe. "What was that, mate?" He laughed as the German sat.

"Glitzer… erm… sparkles on children's crafts?" He made a face, half his lip raising in confusion, his brows furrowing in puzzlement.

"Glitz- Oh, glitter?"

"Ja! It's like glitter in the sky."

Levi sat on the chair two feet to the right, further from the base and both chairs tucked a bit close to a fire pit he'd set up to keep them warm. "How did you say sky? 'Im 'el?"

"Himmel." Wolfgang laughed, pronouncing it slower this time so the Aussie could hear all the sounds

"'Immel."

"Close enough. Himmel directly translates to heavens, as one might have said in English centuries ago." Wolfgang settled into his chair, draping a blanket over his legs casually and tossing the extra to the Australian, who was braving the cold as best as he could.

Both blankets were either fur or faux fur, one black and one grey, warm the moment Levi draped it around his shoulders, letting out a sigh of relief before commenting "Next jeopardy winner right here."

"Ach," he waved off the compliment as he looked back to the sky in awe. "All these years and I have never once looked at the sky…" He whispered. "It's beautiful."

Levi settled in, more of a cocoon than casually like his counterpart, but still socializing. "Honestly, it should be nothing special to me. Growing up in the bush the sky overhead looked like this a lot. The distance faded into light pollution, but at night this is what my home looked like on clear nights. There's-..." he sighed with a smile "Something about it still takes my breath away. No matter how many times I see it, it's always a special sight."

Wolfgang turned on his side to look at the Aussie and laughed "Germany and Switzerland are different. At least, vhere I vas raised. Stuttgart is the capital of zhe nation, I barely saw stars until I vent to Switzerland. Even zhere, not many cut zhrough the city lights. I guess I just… never zhought zhere could be so many." He finally turned back to the sky before Levi could turn to look at him.

"Yeah, an' you'll see movement in them sometimes."

"Movement? Ach, like zhe movement of zhe planet, yes?" Wolfgang tried to offer as he finally brought out the bottle he'd been saving "Did you bring zhe glasses?"

"Uh, yeah." He sat up and unwrapped himself to hand over two whisky tumblers. "And, no. The movement of the stars and of meteors and debris."

Just as Wolfgang looked up to meet his eyes, a flash of light zoomed overhead in the sky and the German almost dropped the glassware in excitement. "A SHOOTING STAR!" He screeched, screwing his eyes shut for what he knew was the tradition of making a wish, mumbling in his native tongue. When he opened his eyes, the Aussie was just casually looking around before taking the glasses from him to pour the liquid from the green bottle. "Aren't you going to make a wish?"

"No," Mundy laughed, holding the glass closer to the fire to see what color the liquid was, "What if it was aliens?

"Pardon?"

"I said, what if it was aliens? A bit rude to make a wish on a space car or somethin'. Not goin' to catch me wishing on a UFO."

"Aliens? You have to be joking vith me." Medic laughed "The drink is Jägermeister. It vas invented as a digestif, vhich is a drink to stimulate appetite, so it is dry rather zhan sveet. It should taste like black licorice"

"Oi! Oi'm not joking! Roswell is only about a hundred miles south of us!" He sipped it his cup without taking heed of Medic's warning "Bloody 'ell, that's dry."

Wolfgang ignored the comment about the liquor, sipping casually "Ja, but vhat does Roswell have to do vith aliens?"

Levi Mundy looked blankly at his companion. "What year is it?"

"Erm… 1971?"

"It's been- it's been almost a quarter of a decade and you haven't heard of the Roswell incident?" Levi's eyes were aflame, both reflecting the fire and his excitement.

"No, I have no idea vhat you are talking about, Herr Mundy." Ludwig was looking a bit weirded out at this point, not quite sure if Sniper had his brain still attached. He was surely spouting nonsense.

"Mid-1947, a UFO- er…. Unidentified Flying Object- crashed into Foster homestead, about 30 miles north of Roswell. The Americans are STILL covering up for it!" He was excited, his lanky body swallowed into a ball, knees to his chest with the blanket covering him, making him look like some furry beast. "There are eyewitness testimonies, photographs, even police and air force reports of a mysterious metal and alien bodies, but the American government calls it a weather balloon and crash dummies with skin." He huffed. When he looked up again, he expected to see that he'd scared off his mate, but the man was watching him fascinated. He grinned "I got you with 'alien bodies,' didn't I?"

The mesmerized man nodded slowly "Vhat did they look like? Do ve know?"

"Eh, yeah, hold on" He got up and rushed into the van behind him, trying to be quick to avoid the cold. When he came out, he had a sketchbook and a pen, opening it to start a rough sketch of the described remains from the crash sight. The alien he drew was small, thin and frail with long limbs and a short torso, a large head held two deep wells of black for eyes, and a thin mouth on the abrupt point for a chin. "Something like that, I caught a glimpse of a picture once, I will never forget what it looked like but it's hard to translate it."

"May I?" The Doctor asked, and was handed the book and the pen together, "Are aliens a hobby of yours?"

"Oh, well… rarities, I guess. Yetis, aliens, things that people doubt exist." He admitted awkwardly.

Medic took it in stride as he started writing calculations on the sides "Ah, cryptozoology? I vas interested in my youth, but my studies took a more… tangible approach." He chuckled

"Whatcha doin?"

"Calculating organ size based on zhe size of zhe human body in comparison." He was very focused on the numbers in front of him before he set the sketchbook aside to stand and begin pacing. "Can you imagine zhe advances in technology an alien race must have? If zhey can survive zhe long journey from one planet to another on an exploratory basis? Ve can barely make it to zhe moon-"

The man's eyes flashed in the fire, it should have given him an evil look, like Pyro with his lenses, but when he took his glasses off to clean them the fire was still there. The standing man looked powerful, impassioned, excited-

" _Bloody gorgeous, honestly."_

Sniper physically snapped himself out of that thought process, making a face of shock and blinking. It seemed to be perfectly in time with Medic's lecture because the man excitedly exclaimed "My feeling exactly!" and shot into a completely new tangent.

" _I can think he's gorgeous. A woman with that same kind of passion in her eyes would be gorgeous too, even without sexual attraction-"_ He reasoned with himself, taking off his own glasses to rub his eyes and look up at the Doctor without a yellow tinged haze. The man was tall, built lean and muscular, but not lanky like the Sniper was. His hair was black as pitch with the roots on the temples beginning to salt-n-pepper a bit, and his eyes- his eyes were a haunting shade of ice blue that had already shoved their way into Sniper's dreams.

Their eyes met for a fraction of a second and Doctor Wolfgang Ludwig had the audacity to smile.

" _Oh, this is not happening-"_


End file.
